Fitness – Middle Age Mark

3 Things

I mentioned in my last post that I’ve been rolling around the whole concept of retirement in my bean; what it looks like for me, how best to enter into the last trimester of life, how to make the most of it. In staying in the retirement vein, I read in my new book How to Retire and Not Die that a retiree should have 3 tasks they accomplish each day. I think the idea is to make a list as you’re getting your coffee and coming to life, and then try your best to accomplish those 3 Things before the end of the day. Think along the lines of wanting to feel like every day is a success. How can I know if I’ve had a successful day if I don’t have any plans to do anything? Knowing we accomplished something valuable, however small, can help us deem the day as good and well-lived.

Having 3 Things to complete each day can also help stop the days from blurring together. I’m reading that for some who retire, time, and not knowing what to do with it, can become a real problem. Depression can set in when we transition from our daily work identity and pace to, well, empty days. Without work to measure life against, our days can slip into insignificance and uselessness. If you’re like me, and pray hard you are not, you’ll notice that sometimes the less we do, the less we want to do – as we slowly slide deeper and deeper into the chair, becoming more horizontal with every minute. Pretty soon it’s 6PM and nothing’s been done; no shower, no chores, no projects – nothing. Physics is not on our side: a body at rest and all that Newton jazz. There’s only so many Instagram reels we can send before we get mushbrain. Yes, it’s a thing. Look it up.

Sidebar: I wonder where the term Couch Potato comes from and why it’s a potato.
Note to self: Look up Couch Potato etymology and know the answer. Cue the cool party trivia drop.

Where was I?
Ah.
Our list 3 Things for the day should be tasks outside of the standard day’s fare. So, for me, Wake Up and Have Coffee wouldn’t be on my list (Yay me!) Neither would Enjoy a Fine Martini (Gin, Of Course) At The End Of The Day. Those 2 things are more or less something I do every day. So probably Work Out or Make Bed Art wouldn’t be on my list either.
I mean, who can go through a day without either, right?
Heyyyy, what if I listed Work Out While Drinking a Martini (Gin Of Course)?
Could be a whole new bar scene, yes?

…Hmm.
As we can see, AI has some…unique ideas of it’s own.
Wrong tree, ChatGPT.
Anyways. Back to reality.
It’s not so much that our 3 Things need to all be major undertakings, but I do think the 3 Things per day list is supposed move us outside of our norm. Things that are intrinsically part of our day don’t really require much thought or effort or growth, and they bring no real extra value-added to life.

I’m pretty sure that our 3 Things don’t always need to be 100% completed by the end of the day either, depending on how the tasks are worded. So like, Get Information on Bed Making Art Classes in the Area could be one of my 3, or Pick 3 Potential New Books to Read could be one, too. Since most complex undertakings are completed in stages, each stage could be a smaller daily task. Although Exercise would be, for me, not something on my list that would move me enough, Add 30 Cardio so I could lose 4 lbs in 2 weeks and get back to my ideal weight of 190 might be.

The book also talked about creating each day’s list from various categories. Some categories might be Social, Physical, Spiritual, Financial, Mental, Domestic, Relational, etc. So Monday might look like Reach Out To Jen, Add 30 Cardio, and Restart Coast Guard Pension Account Tracker. Tuesday might be Read New Book And Take Notes for 30, Clean Both Bathrooms, and Make New Pork Recipe. Wednesday: Gut Shed and Reorganize And Be Careful Rachel Doesn’t Catch You Throwing Stuff Away, Wash/Vacuum Truck, 45 Cardio and Chest. Even if I don’t get one or more complete, I can carry them over.

I also don’t think every day day needs to be preplanned to the last minute. It might be fun, though, if someone asks me, “So, how was your day?,” to list out some cool things I started, added, continued, learned, finished, made progress on, etc.

And, if having a list of 3 Things is a good plan for retirement, maybe it’d be a good idea to start now while working full time so a solid life-rhythm is established by the time change comes.
Of course, full time work will limit bandwidth and margin, but still, how fun to know life is growing in ways besides professional work.
At this point in my life, I think I’ve done all the career-ladder climbing I care to do. I could also start smaller, say 1 or 2 Things per day.

For tomorrow (Sunday), my 3 Things list is Start College Paper, Rake Front, Complete Data Report. I wrote them on my home office white board. Add my usual Sunday routine of first service, gassing both vehicles for the week, and doing laundry, that should make for a full, well-lived day. And if I don’t get them all done, I can carry over or schedule them for later in the week / month.

Anyways, just something that might be fun. I like the idea of being proactive to time and life. I also like the idea of stretching, growing, and being challenged (I’m not so good at following recipes – more is always better), while also sticking to the things that I just love, like raking the yard and being in the sun and cleaning the shed or garage.

Who knows. I might even get crazy:
Find Small Acoustic Drum Set for Less Than $200
Post Article For Florida Rental Next Jan
Start Redo of Basement Floor
Get Bid for New Shower
Learn About Garbage Disposal Installation
Buy Flower Seeds
Text Friend Who Bought Me The Book And Offer Coffee
Learn 2 New Dance Moves
Look Into Starting Business Called Bed Maker Mark
And well, the list is endless.

Recuperation

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? –Mary Oliver

“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” –Socrates

I was at the dump this morning. I’ve been going a lot as we rebuild the deck. And that’s a story for another time. As I flung Trex and lumber from the truck bed, I pondered life and maturing. As I mature (because I never age) and continue to work out with weights, I understand more about the idea of recovery.

I used to be able hammer my body daily, and I’m still the most active gym attendee I see. Age notwithstanding. I push. I can’t not.
I’m not a goer through the motions-er. I never stop moving; not in a spaz kind of way, but in a focused and completely immersed way. I’m there for a reason.
The earbuds metalcore probably doesn’t aid in me appearing docile.

Maybe some talkers think I’m rude, but maybe others think I’m purposed.
I think some epic famous patriot icon once said, “Ask not what your curls can do for you, but what you can do for your curls.”
Or something like that.

Anyways, recovery. The idea that you’ve done something out of the norm, and you need time to recuperate. As I mature, I find that I’m still doing sufficient loading of my form to create the need to let homeostasis find the front door.
I got after chest this morning, trying some new reverse press movements that even as I was doing them made me aware I’d be sore for days.
One side of my head: “Ooooh, this is fun.”
The other side of my head: “You’re gonna be soooo-rrry.”

It made me smile in a devious shitbird kind of way.
The other side of my head wins a lot.

That’s the idea of physical recovery. Bringing fullness of effort often requires rest. And it’s usually true that the more strenuous the effort the more rest time might be needed.
Some people rest without previous effort.
That’s not rest.
Don’t get me started.

Rest after going all in. Only it’s not really rest, is it? It’s not like my form stops working.
It transitions from performing to repairing.
Healing, really.
Recuperation is repairing. And healing.
I need to be healed.

That could maybe also be a life-principle, yes? When you’ve done something rigorous, or when life has done something rigorous to you, you might need some time to just…heal.
Caution: Healing ahead.

Take a break. Stand down.
As you were. Leave off for a bit.
Breathe.
You survived.
Drop the metaphorical shoulders.
Big, fat, sigh. Fold in.
Take a break. Purposed rest.
Footrest out. Blanket.

God put it in nature, yes?
After the explosion that is spring and summer, then fall and winter.
After the explosion that is orgasm (at least for me), then collapse and oxygen.
After the explosion that is a tornado, then blue sky and quiet.
After the explosion that was the Word, then the seventh day.

I saw and see it in the awful floods that were here in Tennessee and North Carolina this fall.
Houses floating, caskets floating, horses floating.
Energy savagely unleashed. We’re just now seeing some rest and recuperation start to creep in. So needed before people can keep going.
Purposed, focused, taking a break.
Rest.

Work, rest.
Explosion, quiet.
Discipline, cake.
(Ok, two pieces of cake. What? Don’t judge. Eff, I love cake).

We set focused financial goals and lean hard into them.
And then find beachfront in Florida or Myrtle Beach.
We have heavy conversation and then watch Blacklist.
A day of Tennessee hills yard work and then a perfect skaken Bardenay Martini (Gin, of course).

Work hard, then make room and time to set it down, turn loose of it.

It’s important, I think. To be able to be ready for the Next.
The Next will, and should, come.

Rest.
It’s as much needed as the Hard.

It’s actually part of the Hard.
Do the Hard and the Good comes.
Lean into the Hard.
Hate the Hard but use the Hard.

Then seek out the Recovery.

Middle Age Optimism

Now that I’m coming out of the stage of life that has been a major focus for that past several months (getting debt free), there are other things that I’ve been itching to write about. Financial rightness is certainly a component of a well-loved and well-lived life, but it is one component; it’s certainly not the end-all-be-all.

Life has foundational pillars; necessary substrates that we gather and erect to support and create a fulfilling and satisfying time here in this realm. There is no one right mix. Too much of one and not enough of another can topple the structure of our life. Each person can and will have a different life-pillar support arrangement; some smaller, some larger, but my contention is that there are some common ones. I’m on a mission to label the pillars and get them upright and justified in my life.

Health is a significant pillar. It’s not something that I paid much attention to when I was younger, for obvious reasons. I was bullet-proof when I was young(er). I ate things and drank things and did things that might put me under the covers for a day or a week now. I don’t recover as fast as I used to. I’m teaching myself new ways to maintain fitness and well-being, and as a long time trainer, weight lifter, and strong guy, it’s tough sometimes to talk myself through new (lighter) strategies. Tough, but still fun.

Purpose is another major pillar and also one that I didn’t give much thought to when I was younger. Purpose? I worked. I loved my family. I paid my bills. I went on vacation. I was the drummer. The cycle repeated. It’s not that I felt I was lacking purpose, it just wasn’t anything I thought about. It’s a major one now as I look forward to solid support for the 3rd act of life.

Faith is one of my big life-pillars. I like knowing that I’m not It, I’m not Him, He gets a big kick out of me, and I’m part of Something alot bigger than me.

Optimism has been on my mind and heart these days as a life-pillar. Among it’s definitions, it’s an overall attitude of belief or hope that life in general will be positive, favorable, fulfilling, desirable (and fun). It can be called different things: hope, expectancy, anticipation, enthusiasm, gusto, positivity, zest.

Whatever it’s labeled, I’ve met people with it and people without it. I’ve met positive people that brighten the room and cynical people that suck the light and life out of it.

Being cynical is an easy trap to fall into. We don’t want to get too far out over our skis lest the landing not go as planned. There’s drama in being cynical, and there’s power in drama. Cynicism can be a safety measure, a protection. It can create a “Hey look at me and how hard I’m battling against life; it must mean that I’m important.”

Let’s face it, “My day was blessed and fantastic,” is not nearly as dramatic or intriguing as “Oh my God, you won’t believe the day I had.”

I talked to my mom yesterday afternoon. I call my mom about 5 times a week. She’s 83 and lives in Maine and told me the cardiologist said she has “extra heartbeats.” She’s scheduled for a heart surgery this week and might need a stent. She doesn’t see the point and thinks extra heartbeats should not be a concern.

After we hung up I thought what a magnificent time to be on the planet when doctors can roto-rooter your heart and give you back quality of life.

I’m not advocating for not being honest when life becomes a bumpy ride. Serious things happen and they suck.
I am advocating for refusing to succumb to a negative perspective.

My dad was cynical. He still can be. That alone might cause extra heartbeats. Every bright hope had potential awfulness, every adventure more risk than reward, which he was quick to articulate.
I resist that with every fiber on my being.

So this morning, as the sun overtakes the foothills and the coffee is hot, I needed to write an ode to optimism. To me, optimism is like air and an absolute must-have life-pillar. It might not be in metrical form, but my ode is certainly full of enthusiastic emotion, and I might even make up a song (sorry neighbors).

I started my day at 6am in the hot tub. Rachel is home sick and I thought I’d better quick disinfect myself. While in the hot tub, I sent two emails, watched a jet with 250+ people fly overhead into a great new exciting day, ordered and started a book, watched an early morning hawk, ordered a movie for the weekend, checked my calendar, did my hot-tub-yoga-stretches, prayed, and checked the agendas for two meetings.

How awesome is life?

After I got out of the hot tub I spent a few minutes in my part-time living room. It’s a cool place and allows for a different environment while still having access to all things professional. Sometimes ideas flow better when I change environments. I can get a new perspective on a challenge that I’m overcoming. It even has a glass conference room (I sit at the head of the table).

How even awesomer is life?

After that I crossed the parking lot and came back to the condo. The sun had just crested and our little home was almost blinding in the morning sunlight.
I was suddenly overcome with gratitude.
I let it take me and thought about how much I love my life.

I have so much to be thankful for.

I love and am loved.
I have great friends that set a high bar.
I have a good bed and a good pillow.
I am warm, safe, well fed, and healthy.
I love my 30 year old mountain bike.
I love the way we give.
The Patriots are 5-0.
I love sitting on the balcony at the end of the day with a fresh martini (gin of course) and reflecting.
My phone is waterproof if I move really quickly.
The morning sunlight pours into our home and makes me emotional.
I love my work and my team and every once in awhile feel like I really made a difference.
I love Sunday nights and Al Michaels’ voice and homemade french bread pizza.
I have a new red couch and a glass coffee table and I put my feet up and watch cool things when I can get the rabbit ears right.
I love my morning chores and learning new ways to make the bed.
My garage door goes up and down with a button.
I have a garage.

I never want to miss the little things.
There are no little things.

I’m going to continue to invest in optimism and keep surrounding myself with optimistic people. Why would anyone not?

I’m standing that life-pillar up and cementing it in place for ever.
I’m willing to bet it helps support a really fantastic life.